My mother told me something that always stuck with me.
“You don’t have to wait until it gets bad to break up. If you are unhappy, you should be the first to make the decision to call things off.”
From this very moment I understood that she was saying all that mattered was my happiness and if I was not happy, I had all the right to leave a relationship that was no longer meeting my needs. I didn’t have to have any other reason but that.
I used to tell myself that I have invested so much and that is enough to stay where I didn’t feel happy.
It was not healthy for me to make excuses why I had to stay, especially at the expense of my feelings so that someone else could be happy.
It’s not about whose fault it is or who is to blame.
This does not make you wrong for wanting to break up and this does not make your partner wrong for wanting to stay in the relationship.
Obviously, there is something that you are wanting out of the relationship that you are not getting and is causing you to question staying in this committed relationship.
I understand that it is up to everyone to find happiness within themselves.
But, if you feel that this relationship is not giving you what to expect from a relationship and you are not getting your needs met, you are validated in your feelings. And should not question yourself.
If you are willing to talk to your partner and try to work on your relationship, that’s good too. It’s up to you what you decide to do.
I used to ask my clients “can you see this person holding your hand on your death bed”? Most would say “no”. That gave me the insight I needed to confirm they do not feel emotionally supported.
So ask yourself, am I happy in this relationship? Am I willing to continue with this relationship for the rest of my life?
You have to prioritize yourself. You only have one life to live, so live it well with who you feel you should be with or welcome the single life.
How did you know it was time to end a relationship? Comment below and help someone else evaluate their situation.