Should you date someone with depression?

If anyone is asking themselves this question, I can understand your concerns about being with someone who suffers from depression.

It can be challenging being with someone who suffers from depression. You have to witness someone you care about struggle and there may not be much you can do to change it. This brings about feelings of helplessness.

Also, sometimes people may feel their partner being depressed causes them to be more depressed. It’s like it rubs off on them.

Some people take it personally and feel unloved or undesirable because their depressed partner is just not that animated.

However, my main questions would be “do you at least feel that your partner is making attempts to manage or overcome the depression”. And, is this person open to communicating about ways to navigate the relationship while struggling with depression?

People come with all sorts of problems. Depression is challenging, but it could easily be something else.

When you are getting to know someone or when you are in a relationship, there has be some level of acceptance, empathy, and understanding of that person and their issues.

Remember, you never know what someone else is willing to walk away from when dealing with you.

Deciding to continue dating someone or to be long-term partners with them, you have to accept that depression is something that they struggle with and you will do your best to support them.

Nevertheless, I understand that in some cases some people with depression refuse to try and manage their symptoms. They may try to deal with in some self-destructive ways. It’s understandable that a person can only put up with negative behaviors for so long.

You do have to set your boundaries and encourage communication. Let that person know what you expect from them and what you are willing to tolerate in the relationship.

For instance, people who are depressed have the tendency to push people away due to being socially withdrawn. Come to some sort of compromise. Talk about what it means for them to socially withdraw, how much time they need, and what you are expected to do at that time. Get some clarity about how to navigate the relationship without causes further issues and unhappiness.

But as long as a person with depression is working towards better mental health, and display healthy relationship skills, why should they not have the opportunity to love?

Do you have any tips for having managing a healthy relationship with someone who suffers from depression? Comment Below! It might be useful to someone else. Happy Dating!

Published by Asha Griffin, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH

I am Asha Griffin, a licensed professional counselor in South Carolina. I am dedicated to improving the mental health of others and helping them to "tend to their gardens". My goal is to inspire people in finding better balance in their lives.

2 thoughts on “Should you date someone with depression?

  1. Thank you for your post. I do find that when 2 people get together who both struggle with depression, it is a serious challenge! I have a long history of trauma and suffer with PTSD coupled with bouts of generalized anxiety and depression. My husband also struggles with depression. His looks different from mine, as he tends to act out and I act in. But there’s the problem for me…his acting out causes such a strain on my internal resources that I often “buckle under the weight” and fall into a depression myself. Even when I am coping well, I worry about becoming overwhelmed by the strain of our relationship. He is a good man and, when not depressed, a great partner. He is working on it and things have been improving, but the strain of it does wear me down.

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience! I understand your situation. I’ve been there too in my life. I think just being able to recognize what’s your stuff and what’s your partner stuff helps you best protect yourself from what isn’t yours. It’s hard when you are in a relationship because you tend to take on your partner’s emotions as well. It’s like you trigger each other. Just remember that when he is going through his stuff, just remind yourself that he is struggling and you do not have to take on his emotions. You can still show your support to him and give tender loving care to yourself at the same time! Learning to protect yourself is not selfish and it may also help to maintain the relationship. It’s definitely a continuous effort and you may still have difficult days, but you can build more coping strategies to help you manage and continue to have a wonderful relationship. Thank you for sharing. It’s appreciated. Love and Peace!

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