Seeking Reassurance

We have all wanted it at some point in life; approval and constant reassurance.

We want to hear that its okay to be mad or sad, we are worthy, our ideas are great, we made good decisions, we picked the right outfit, we said the right words, we chose the best partner and our relationship looks good right?

We tend to get so caught up into what other’s think that it expands to us wanting approval to every aspect of our lives.

This leads to identify confusion. You don’t know who you are anymore because you are waiting for someone else to tell you who you are, how you should feel, and what you should do next.

There is so much fear around rejection and abandonment. We are afraid of not being likable and lovable that we are willing to change the very essence of who we are.

One aspect I’ve always struggled with is my looking for approval for my emotions. I’ve had many instances where I’ve shared my feelings hoping for someone to offer understanding and to empathize with me. Instead I would get judgmental comments and a lecture about how I should and should not feel.

Then I end up hating that I even shared my feelings. Then I would start to question myself. What’s wrong with me? Were they right? Was I wrong? Am I taking this too seriously? Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be normal? Am I normal? Let me go ask someone

And the horrible cycle continued.

I wish someone would have told me sooner to never question myself because someone else invalidated my feelings.

Later in life, I did find people who were more supportive and were good at reminding me to stay true to myself and to trust my feelings and intuition.

The only person’s approval you should seek is your own. We have to do a better job at validating our own feelings no matter how others feel about them.

So if you are angry about driver cutting you off, you have that right!

If you want to wear that stripe shirt with those flowery pants, go for it!

If you have a good idea about starting business, what are you waiting for?

If you want to change careers, have at it!

If you finally decided to say “no” and stand up to that person who keeps asking too much of you, good for you for taking care of you!

If you are wondering if you should have shared your honest opinion, heck yeah!

Ask yourself and wait for an answer that comes from within. Give yourself that reassurance you have been looking for from others. Make it your daily practice to give yourself that constant reassurance you seek.

You will become more empowered and will know a new level of self confidence and self-love.

Who cares what others think? What do you think? Comment Below!

Published by Asha Griffin, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH

I am Asha Griffin, a licensed professional counselor in South Carolina. I am dedicated to improving the mental health of others and helping them to "tend to their gardens". My goal is to inspire people in finding better balance in their lives.

One thought on “Seeking Reassurance

  1. I suppose we all try not to care what others think and we often find ourselves seeking approval. Eventually, some of us realise it’s not important what others think. It comes with wisdom and I don’t think youngsters will have this until they reach a certain age.

    Like you, I wished I knew this when I was younger. Caz

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